Bringin' Tha H.E.A.T.

Concerning the healthy side of it...I fear The Lord. I reverence Him as being God, Heavenly Father, Judge, Ruler, Creator, The Almighty One...as being omnipotent, omnicient, omnipresent. God is my Lord, King and Savior.

I pondered hard and long about the unhealthy fear...I came to the conclusion that I don't have one. I know someone out there will be like, "quit playin', e'rebody got a fear", but I'm tellin you I searched high, low, deep, far and wide and came up with nuthin. For this I give God ALL the praise, honor and glory...cuz this brotha show nuf remember the days of old. I was a scared lil negro boy! No joke...you could scare me around one corner and literally scare me around the next. Actually once I think back...it's quite shameful really. Now, no excuses but the reasons I was so easily scared are because I was plagued as a child with night terrors and a few enough unpleasent experiences through childhood. I John 4:18 says this, "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: becasue fear hath torment. he that feareth is not made perfect in love."

I was a tormented child, it was like my night terrors were on constant and consistent auto-play and repeat. No matter what I tried, when I slept it was the same torment. I'd be stuck in a loop of the same night terror for a week to two weeks, then a different one would loop, then a previous one would loop again. I COULD NOT change the outcome, no matter how cautious or cognitive I attempted to make myself during these periods of torment. Truly I had not discovered or uncovered "perfect love" just yet. I mean, don't get me wrong certain members of my family would say they loved me, but too often those verbalizations of love were lacking corresponding jestures of love. I questioned heavily everyones "love", cause if you loved me why does your "love" hurt so, why do your "love" cause me so much pain, confusion, feelings of isolation, feelings of not being wanted or desired??

 But when I said yes to Jesus Christ, submitted me to Him, died with Him, resurrected with Him and live in Him (and He in me), perfect love was revealed to me. With that perfect love was a tag-a-long, it's name is peace! Jesus' love brought peace with it...the two go hand-in-hand! I didn't know, I was oblivous, I was ignorant to truth, but oh do I remember when...when I opened the door of my whole self to Him and let Him in...what a wonderful work He did on ya Boi!

Philippians 4:7, 9 "and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.", Isaiah 26:3-4 "You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, beacuse he trusts in You. Trust in the Lord forever, for in YAH, the Lord, is everlasting strength", John 14:27 "Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid", Colossians 3:15 "And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful."

So what God's Word revealed to me is that fear a spirit and it's origin is not God; fear is a tool/tactic/weapon of satan set against the children of God; and that I always have a choice before me, to believe and give life to God's truth or satan's fear. Now when I was a child, you couldn't tell me the night terrors weren't real, you couldn't have convinced me that "it was all a bad dream", NO...the screams, the cold sweats, the questions, the torment was real to me then. But thanks be to God for His unwavering love and truth, for He showed me that that fear appeared real and that He was all the more real then the fear ever could attempt to be.

~KLHS~